


C'est La Bee

by iloveyou_crash_iloveyou



Series: Nerds in Love [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bookstore Owner! Castiel, Cas has anxiety, EMT! Dean, F/M, I love them but Dean and Cas are my babies, I promise, M/M, Rated M because of language, References to Twist and Shout - gabriel & standbyme, Sam/Jess is background sorry, Slow Burn, anxiety warning, destiel au, like barely there, love at first sight pretty much, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-02 08:05:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveyou_crash_iloveyou/pseuds/iloveyou_crash_iloveyou
Summary: Castiel is in a car accident which results in his car being flipped upside down and Dean the EMT saving him. Dean is intrigued by the man he saves and can't get his eyes out of his head, thus decides he needs to see him again. ASAP.





	1. 9th of September

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! This is my very first fanfic so please be nice to me. The goal is to update every week, ideally. I just want to make sure it's perfect for y'all, okay? So, here we go.

**_I didn’t know I_ **

**_needed saving until it_ **

**_was you who saved me._ **

 

Glass littered the floor and the smell of copper and metal permeated the air. The sickening screech of metal colliding with metal vaguely echoed in the background.

_Oh, god. What’s happening?_

Another body came into view not too far from where Castiel lay, trapped.

_Oh, god. Is he still alive?_

Castiel tried screaming to him ( _her?_ ) but found that no sound could escape. Sirens screamed louder and louder as Castiel’s vision faded to black. The screech of metal came again and Castiel felt himself floating. He could still hear the muffled voices of the EMTs and firemen chattering in the background; however, two voices in particular stood out as they came closer to where he was laying.

“Hey, man, are you okay?” The first voice was gruff, almost desperate. “Jo, move your ass and get over here!” Castiel felt a calloused hand wrap around his wrist. “I can still feel a pulse!” Relief colored the EMT’s voice, as he shouted to his partner. 

“I’m here, I’m here! Okay, good, at least he has a pulse.” The second voice was smoky, but calm. Castiel found it increasingly harder to breathe until, finally, he wasn’t. Noticing that his chest was no longer rising and falling, she put her hand on his chest, and yelled, “Fuck, now he’s not breathing! Begin CPR!”

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

“Come on, man. Breathe!”

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

“Dean, it’s not working!”

“Give me time!”

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

Red and blue lights flooded his vision once again, and the voices of people surrounding him invaded his senses. Castiel struggled to breathe, and struggled even more to process what was happening around him. The EMTs he heard were on either side of him, attending to any wounds that could be tended to on the spot—if there were any.

“Dean, we need to get him on the gurney!” Castiel’s vision was blurry, but he was pretty sure the voice came from the small blonde woman to the left of him.

“Help me lift him, Jo.  1, 2, 3, lift!” To the right of Cas, was a taller man with short, sandy brown hair. His green eyes were wide with worry and adrenaline.  

 _Wow, please let him be that one who performed CPR,_ Castiel thought deliriously. “What—What’s going on? Where am I?” Castiel managed to ask before he began coughing violently.

“Sir, there’s been an accident. Are you able to tell me your name” the green-eyed man ( _Dean?_ ) questioned.

 _Good lord, those eyes will be the death of me._ Realizing what just crossed his mind, Castiel began laughing hysterically. “Cas—,“ he struggled to finish his name between laughs; his body was screaming and barely holding it together. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay awake. His laughter quickly subsided into a long-winded groan.

“Alright, Cas, it’s alright. We’re going to get you to the hospital. Jo, did you grab his wallet?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Is he strapped in okay?” She leaned over Castiel to hand Dean the wallet.

Dean opened up the wallet, looking for his ID. “Ah, Castiel… Novak. Yikes, dude.”

Castiel grunted from where he lay, and Jo glared at him, impatiently waiting for him to answer her question. Dean continued to not realize what was happening, and stared at the ID in his hand instead, until Jo cleared her throat. Dean finally looked up. “What? Oh. Yeah, he’s good. He’s strapped in okay, now help me lift him. 1, 2, 3, lift.”

The EMT’s then lifted him into the ambulance.

_When did I get onto a gurney?_

His mind struggled to retain any memories of what just happened. Castiel hadn’t even fully realized he'd been moved out from under his car.

_Oh god, my car._

He vaguely remembered getting off the phone with Anna, confirming their dinner plans for the night, then a loud screech, and then there was nothing.

_Oh god. Anna. She’s going to lose her shit when I don’t show up tonight._

The three of them sat in silence, tension and impatience rolling off of their bodies in waves. After a while, Dean spoke, “Hey, Jo. What happened to the other guy that was out there?”

Jo looked away from Dean as she whispered, “He didn’t make it.” Castiel’s heartbeat accelerated with guilt and anxiety.

_Fuck, I killed someone._

Dean ran his fingers though his short hair, trying to find some comfort in the gesture. “Aw, fuck.” Dean sighed deeply before continuing, “At least we got one person out of there.”

The machine connected to Castiel began frantically alerting whoever was listening that his heart was beating at an extremely high rate. The two EMTs leapt into action as Castiel’s eyes shot open, and he frantically searched for some kind of comfort. He reached out and took hold of the hand closest to him. He felt comfort in the warmth and roughness of the hand he currently grasped in his own.

“Hey, man,” the owner of said hand—a certain green-eyed EMT—said softly as he squeezed his hand, “We’re almost there, okay? Just hang in there for me, please.” Dean began running his fingers through Castiel’s dark hair, not knowing how else to comfort him. Castiel’s heartbeat began to slow to a normal rate the more Dean stroked his hair and the longer he held his hand. Castiel’s eyes found Dean’s and both men drowned in each other, not bothering to come up for air.

The small blonde EMT looked up at the driver, trying to ignore what was happening in front of her, and shouted, “Garth, what’s our ETA?” pulling Dean and Castiel out of their reverie.

”2 minutes! We’re just pulling in now!”

Dean pulled away to prepare for the run into the hospital and Castiel missed the warmth that he no longer felt. “Mr. Novak, we’re here! You’re going to be okay!” The last thing Cas saw before he passed out again was a quick glimpse of those emerald green eyes he'd been lost in just moments ago.


	2. 12th of September

_**Drowning doesn’t seem** _

_**seem so bad if it’s in the** _

_**oceans of your eyes**._

 

Dean didn’t gather the courage to visit him in the hospital until three days after the accident. He tried to get the man’s ( _Castiel’s_ ) eyes out of his head, but no matter how hard he tried, they came back—piercing into his soul without even meaning to.

_This is ridiculous, Winchester. He’s just been in an accident. He won’t even remember you. He was in shock the last time you saw him._

He sat in the parking lot of the hospital going over the pros and cons once again, wondering if he made the right decision.

> _Pro: He super held my hand._
> 
> _Con: He was_ **just** _in an accident._
> 
> _Pro: His hair felt super amazing, aside from the blood._
> 
> _Con: He was just in an_ **accident**.
> 
> _Pro: His eyes were the actual ocean._
> 
> _Con: He was_ **just** _in an_ **accident**.

“Fuck it, here goes nothing.” He took the keys out of the ignition, took one last deep breathe, and made his way to where he knew Castiel would be—he checked who his doctor was the day before while he was on shift. That’s not weird, just curious, and it just so happened that he knew her personally.

“Hey, Dean!” Dean turned around to face the familiar voice who just called out to him.

“Hey, Jess! You’re just the person I was looking for, I—“

Jess cut him off, “why were you looking for me? Is everything okay? Is it Sam?” She looked at him, her sky blue eyes wide with worry.

_Cas’ eyes are bluer._

“No, no, nothing like that! Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m okay, Sam’s okay, everyone’s okay,” Dean reassured her.

Jess visibly relaxed. “Oh, okay. What’s up then?”

“I was just wondering how Cas was doing?

“Who?”

“Cas—Castiel? Castiel Novak? The guy I brought in on Friday from the car accident?” Dean felt his face burning up.

_Yeah, I didn’t think this through._

_“_ Oh! He’s getting better. Slowly but surely. He still hasn’t woken up but I have high hopes. “

“Well, it’s only been three days. Hopefully he’s not out for too much longer.”

“Yeah. His sister, however, hasn’t left his side in three days. Wait, how do you know him? Is he a friend of yours?”

Dean spluttered, face burning with embarrassment, “Uh, no. I, uh, just thought I’d stop by and, uh, see how the guy was doing. I did save his life after all.”

Jess stared at him, with her eyebrow raised, in that I-Don’t-Believe-You-For-One-Second type of way. “You do that every day, Dean. It’s not something new. How did you even know his name?”

 _For fuck’s sake, Winchester, get it together. “_ Well, yeah. I just… Just-uh-wanted to make sure, you know? I saw his name when I pulled his ID out of his wallet to identify him.”

Clearly not believing him, Jess continued to stare. And Dean stared right back. After a minute, she smiled smugly at him. “Uh huh. Sure. And you just happened to remember his name?”

“What? Yeah, dude, of course I remember his name! How many people have the name CastiEL?“

Her smile grew wider. “So, Cas, huh?”

“What?”

“You called him Cas. Nicknames often suggest familiarity, you know.”

Dean stuttered, “well, yeah, no, but Castiel is just a mouthful, you know?” Jess’ eyes widened. “No! Damn it that’s not what I meant!” Dean’s face flushed.

“Mhmm, sure,“ Jess stared at him skeptically while Dean shifted from his left foot to his right, and back again. She decided to take mercy on him, for now. She’ll tease him about it later. “Well, why don’t you go in and see if you can relieve his poor sister and allow her to take some kind of break. I’m afraid I might actually need to forcibly remove her from his room and make her go home and get some rest.”

Dean let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Yeah, sure,” then he remembered, ”oh, wait, am I still going to see you and Sam at dinner tonight?”

“Okay then, he’s in room 10. And, Dean, when have we ever not remembered? Don’t forget, 8 o’clock!” She gave him a small wave and began to walk away, presumably to go tend to another patient.

“You got it! Tell Sammy to bring some beer, I’m all out!”

Jess stopped in her tracks and turned around quickly, with a surprised look on her face. “Jesus, Dean! You can’t just scream that in my place of work, much less a hospital!”

Dean grimaced. “Right, my bad. See you tonight Jess.” She shook her head and smiled at him, and turned back around.

Dean turned on his heel and strode towards Mr. Castiel Novak’s room. _Room 10._ All he could remember of the man was the ocean in his eyes. He hadn’t stopped thinking about them, in fact. They'd made their first dream debut the very first night he saw them, and had showed up every night since then. But this wasn’t about the ocean in his eyes. He was just making sure the guy was okay. Shut up.

_Get it together, Dean. You don’t even know the guy._

* * *

Anna has had the _worst_ past couple of days, let me tell you. She was suffering the worst writer’s block which threatened to keep running its course until her deadline was just a few days away, leaving her scrambling to finish on time; her publisher was requesting rewrites ( _rewrites!_ ); the water in her apartment wasn’t working so she was getting up at ass o’clock in the morning to go shower at the gym, so, yeah, she was exhausted; and to top it all off, just one phone call from the hospital was able to finally knock her on her ass completely.

 

> _**“What do you mean he’s been in a car crash? Castiel's always been such a safe driver. He doesn’t even drive over the speed limit, for Christ’s sake!”** _
> 
> _**“Ma’am, I do apologize for what’s happened. The doctor will explain everything to you as soon as you get here. He’s at Lazarus Memorial Hospital in Palo Alto.”** _
> 
> _**“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as possible!”** _

Sleep hadn’t really been an option the past couple of days, especially considering her brother was in a coma and looked like, well, he looked like shit. He looked bad, there isn’t a nicer way to say it. Dark blue and black bruises stained his skin, his leg had broken in two places, and he had a few bruised ribs. Anna reminded herself how much worse it could have been. 

_At least he’s alive._

She was just finally starting to drift off to sleep in her chair, when she noticed a man standing in the doorway, clearly not aware of his surroundings. The first thing she noticed about him was how tall he was, his head almost reaching the top of the door frame, and his eyes were a bright jade green. His hair seemed to be a sandy brown color, and freckles dusted his face.  _Pretty,_ she thought. Anna continued to stare back at him, unsure of the proper way to handle this.

_I don’t think he’s a lost patient; he’s not wearing a hospital gown._

After a few minutes, the guy still hadn’t moved so she decided to speak up. “Who are you?”

Dean was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even realized he reached Castiel’s room and had been standing in his doorway for who even knows how long.  He looked at who addressed him and saw a woman with Ariel-red hair _(it’s a good movie, okay?)_ and bright blue eyes.

_Not as blue as Castiel’s, though._

The woman then cleared her throat and Dean realized he was staring. “Oh god, wow, I’m sorry. My name’s Dean. I was actually one of the EMTs that was first on the scene of your brother’s accident. I—I brought him here.”

Anna’s eyes widened with realization, “Oh! I’m sorry! You were just standing there for like 3 minutes and I wasn’t sure what the hell was happening.”

Dean grimaced for the second time in ten minutes. “Man, sorry if I creeped you out, it wasn’t my intention,” and then he frowned, “wait, you let me just stand there, staring, for three whole minutes?”

Anna blushed. “Uhm, yeah? I just wasn’t sure what was going on, if you were in a trance or sleepwalking, or something, and I didn’t want to interrupt.” Dean wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Anna looked at the floor as if she was trying to read something on it, while Dean tried to figure what to say to her. After a minute, Anna looked back up and cleared her throat. “Anyway, my name’s Anna. And you said your name was… Dean?”

“Yup, that’s me. Castiel’s doctor—Doctor Winchester—was just telling me that you haven’t left his side in, like, three days and she’s seriously worried about you. She worries about patients’ families just as much as the patients. She’s kind of cool like that. But, anyway, if you want, I can stay with Castiel for you while you go get some rest. Jess—I mean, Doctor Winchester said she’d kick you out anyway if you didn’t go home.”

Anna, paused, thinking it over. “I don’t know. What if he wakes up?”

“If he does, you’ll be the first one to know. I’ll pick you up myself if you need me to.” Dean hoped he wasn’t sounding too pushy.

 _Or over eager. S_ _hut up, Dean._

She shook her head. “It’s okay, Dean, really. Thanks for the offer. I actually think I will go home, well, to Cassie’s apartment, and get some rest, though. Please take care of him. Talk to him for me, just so that he knows he’s not alone.”

“Will do, Anna. Go get some rest.” Dean knew it wasn’t uncommon for people to talk to coma patients. He’d seen it in movies all the time.

Anna took out a pen from her purse and tore off a corner of the newspaper she brought along to read. “Here’s my number in case anything happens.  I know I’m Castiel’s emergency contact but sometimes they wait forever to call and I just need to know right away as soon as it happens.“

 “I get it, believe me. Go get some rest. You don’t want to be a zombie when he wakes up. He’s going to want to talk to you.”

Anna chuckled, and gave Dean a relieved smile. “Thanks, Dean. I really appreciate it.” She walked over to Castiel, brushed back his hair, and gave his forehead a kiss. “I’ll be back soon, Cassie. Please wake up. I love you.” She picked up her purse and walked towards Dean. “Thanks again. I know you don’t have to do this. So, thanks.” She patted him on the shoulder and walked out.

Dean turned back towards Castiel and immediately realized, _holy shit I don’t know anything about this guy._ And so, like the goddamn grown up he is, he stood there gawking at the pretty boy lying down on the bed.

 _Get it together, Winchester. Just talk to him._  

He walked towards the bed, pulled the chair up, and sat down. "Uhm, hey Cas. Castiel. Mr. Novak. I don’t know what you prefer. I’m pretty sure you don’t like going by Cassie so I definitely won’t call you that.” Dean rubbed his clammy hands on his jeans. “‘Kay wow this is not going great. Well, my name’s Dean, I was one of the EMTs there that night and pulled you out from under your car. You’re pretty damn lucky to be alive, you know that? Your car was flipped upside down and absolutely totaled. We were afraid you weren’t going to make it for a minute there, man.”

Castiel remained motionless and his machine beeped steadily, reminding Dean that he was speaking to a comatose patient—one whom he’d never met, at that.

_This is crazy. What am I even doing here?_

He began to stand, but then remembered the promise he’d made to Anna and sat right back down.

 _Fuck. What do I even talk to him_ about _?_

He looked over at him, trying to figure out the best way to keep the guy company _and_ do what Anna asked at the same time. He leaned in and began speaking again. “So, Cas. Don’t know if you can tell, but I’m just now realizing that I know nothing about you and you know nothing about me so I’ve made all this into a weird sort of situation.”

_Fuck this is weird._

“So, I guess I could tell you a little more about myself. Uh, like I said, my name’s Dean. I’m an Aquarius. I like long walks on the beach and frisky women, or men. Usually men, though.” _‘_

 _Kay wow, way to just out yourself. Well, he probably can’t hear me anyway. It’s fine right? Right._  

“My favorite book is Slaughterhouse Five and my favorite song is ‘Hey Jude.’ My mom used to sing that to me when I was little and had trouble sleeping, so it’s just kind of always been my favorite song. Uhm, what else? Oh! I have a little brother named Sam. Well, little in the relative sense. The moose may be taller than me, but I can still kick his ass. He’s a lawyer, and he works with kids and families mostly. He does a lot of pro bono work. I’m so proud of him.”

Dean was interrupted by a small laugh behind him. “That’s so cute, is he single?”

“Son of a bitch!” Dean turned around so fast, his neck cracked. In the doorway was a short man with golden hair and eyes, staring at him with an amused look on his face. “Sorry, sorry. Uhm, who are you?”

The man’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline, clearly confused as to what the hell this stranger is doing in his brother’s room. “My name’s Gabriel. I’m Castiel’s brother. And who are you?”

“My name’s Dean. I, uh, was one of the EMTs who saved your brother’s life. I just wanted to make sure he was doing okay.”

A mischievous smile took over Gabriel’s face. “Oh, Dean-o! That’s awfully sweet of you. Do you do this with all the damsels you rescue or just my Cassie here?”

Dean spluttered, struggling to find the right words. “What, no! I just, uh, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Because, uhm, it looked pretty bad.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened. “What do you mean by pretty bad?”

 _Fuck._ “Shit, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t know if I’m even able to tell you but since I brought it up, I owe you that much. Castiel was in a pretty bad wreck. A car from a lane going the opposite way swerved into your brother’s lane because of a deer and hit him head on. The other guy died before we can get him out from under his car.” Gabriel gasped and put his hand over his mouth. Tears threatened to spill over as he imagined being on the receiving end of _that_ phone call. “Castiel seems like he’s a fighter, though.”

Gabriel wiped at his face and cleared his throat. “That he is. Thank you for saving him.“

“Yeah, man. It’s my job,” he paused, “hey, can I ask you something, though?”

“Yeah, what?”

He hesitated before finally asking, “Why didn’t you know about this? Didn’t Anna call you?”

Gabriel clenched his jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. “Nope. She doesn’t expect much from me, therefore doesn’t feel the need to keep me filled in on anything.”

 _Well, fuck. Way to go, Dean._ “I’m sorry to hear that, man. How did you know he was here then?”

“Our brother Alfie called. He and Castiel keep me updated with everything, since they know Anna won’t do it. He called me when it first happened, but I was out of town, so here I am now."

“Right. Well, I’m glad he called you then. I’ll leave you alone with Cas since you’re here. I’ll be back to visit in the morning.”

“Sure thing, Dean-o. Thanks for watching over our little Cassie.”

“No problem, Gabe…o,” Dean finished lamely.

Gabriel lifted an eyebrow, then busted out laughing. “Ha! You’re a hoot and a half, Dean-o. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Dean took a notepad and pen out from his back pocket, wrote his number on it, and handed it to Gabe. “Let me know if anything changes.” Gabe raised an eyebrow and looked up at Dean. “You know, because Anna. She wanted me to let her know if he wakes up when she’s not here.”

“Right, right. Will do, Dean-o.”  Dean turned to leave, and felt Gabriel’s hand on his shoulder. “Thanks again.”

“It’s no problem, really. It’s all in the job description.”  Dean turns to Castiel with a small smile. “Bye, Cas. See you in the morning.”


	3. 13th of September (morning)

**_Ocean eyes are still_ **

**_enveloped in darkness. They_ **

**_long to see the sun._ **

 

Dean unlocked the door to his apartment and immediately toed off his boots, sighing with relief.

 _I’ll deal with those later._  

He shrugged off his jacket, placing it on the coat rack next to his shoes. He probably shouldn’t have stayed so long at Sam’s knowing that he had to pull a double shift tomorrow. It was worth it, though; it had been awhile since he'd been able to hang out with his brother and sister-in-law. They all had such demanding jobs, so nights when they were all free to hang out were extremely rare. He dug into his pocket, locating the discarded newspaper scrap to send Anna a text, letting her know that he left but Castiel wasn’t alone.

 

**Dean >> Anna: **

**> > Hey, Anna. It’s Dean. **

**> > The EMT from the hospital. **

**> > Just wanted to let you know that Gabriel showed up to sit with Castiel, so I gave them some time alone. **

**> > I’ll be back to visit him in the morning, though.**

 

He set his phone down on the kitchen counter and walked to his bedroom, ready to strip himself of his day. He’d had a good day, but it'd been long and his body was aching with exhaustion. He settled for wearing his favorite sweats with little Impalas on them _(they’d been a gift, okay)_ and a plain black t-shirt. Dean sat on the edge of his bed, finally relaxing, finally alone.

 _I just want to sleep._ He rubbed his eyes and saw a familiar pair of ocean eyes. _What the fuck, Winchester._

He dragged himself off his bed and made his way back to the living room just in time to hear his phone ding with a new notification. Dean picked his phone up from the counter and unlocked it, seeing that he received a message from Anna.

**Dean << Anna:**

**< < Oh, hey Dean. **

**< < Thanks for letting me know. **

**< < At least he’s not alone. **

**< < Thanks again for looking after him for me. **

 

Walking back to the couch, he read over her message and responded back quickly.

 

**Dean >> Anna: **

**> > Like I said, it’s really no worry at all. **

**> > Have a good night.**

**Dean << Anna: **

**< <Same to you, Dean.**

 

Dean locked his screen and threw his phone on the couch while he headed towards the kitchen. It may be late but it’s never too late for a sandwich and a quick episode of ‘Dr. Sexy.’ He knows it’s cheesy, but he just likes watching to point out inaccuracies, okay. He sat down and put his feet up, with his half-eaten sandwich in one hand and a beer in the other. 

* * *

 

_Dean unlocked the door to his apartment and immediately toed his boots off, sighing with relief. He set his keys and his phone on the kitchen counter, trying to be as quiet as possible. The entire apartment was completely dark, save for the hallway light illuminating the hallway. He made his way to the bedroom, excited to be in bed, and slowly opened the door._

_His boyfriend lay in the bed in front of him, snoring softly and breathing soundly._ So beautiful. _Dean shrugged out of his clothes save for his undershirt and boxers and climbed into bed, wrapping his arms around him_ (but definitely _NOT_ cuddling). _Dean ran his fingers through Castiel’s dark hair and hummed ‘Hey Jude’ quietly until Cas sighed and turned in his arms so that he was facing Dean._

_“I’m glad I saved you,” he whispered._

_Castiel hummed softly as he opened his eyes, and--_

He awoke to the sound of his phone blaring ‘Carry On My Wayward Son,’ with a half-eaten sandwich in one hand a full beer in the other. His neck was stiff and his body was sore.

_What the hell was that about?_

His phone continued to ring, not caring that Dean was confused as all hell and wondering when he had even fallen asleep. Dean put down his sandwich and beer on his coffee table and picked up his still-ringing phone. He blinked wearily at his screen as he fumbled to turn the alarm off, seeking silence. _5:45 a.m._ Although it is absolutely **criminal** that Dean was even awake before the sun, he heaved himself off the couch and headed towards the bathroom, in desperate need of a shower. 

* * *

 

“Hey, Winchester, heard you visited your dame yesterday!” Jo said in lieu of greeting before Dean even had his locker open.

“Oh, yeah? Well, I heard that you… you visited your… shut the fuck up, Jo.”

“Way to use your words, man,” Jo retorted.

It was way too early in the goddamn morning for this nonsense, so Dean glared at Jo and stomped towards the break room, desperately needing coffee. The break room wasn’t anything special, just a closet sized room with a coffee maker and a table set to sit down and enjoy said coffee. That’s all they needed, really. Dean was just sitting down when Jo sat down in the chair across from him. He groaned and stared at his mug, willing it to swallow him whole.

“So,” Jo started.

Dean sighed. “Can I help you?”

“You gonna ask him out when he wakes up or what?”

Dean spluttered, spitting his coffee out everywhere. “What, what do you mean? Who?”

Jo glared at him, clearly seeing right through him. “Dean. You know damn well who I’m talking about. Castiel? Novak? You visited the guy while he was still in a coma even though you know absolutely nothing about him; and from what I heard, you were there for like an hour.”

“What, Jo, come on. I just wanted to make sure Cas was okay, I—“

Jo cut him off, “Dean. First of all, you have _literally_ done this with zero other people. Second of all, _Cas?_ You already have a nickname for him? Did I miss something?”

 _Get it together, man._ “I can do new things with new patients sometimes, okay. And his name is fucking CastiEL, dude. It’s too much. Cas is just shorter, I don’t know. Why is that such a huge deal?”

Jo rested her arms on the table, and leaned towards Dean with a smug smile on her face. “I didn’t mean to get you all riled up, Winchester. I just wanted to know what makes him so special.”

 _His ocean eyes._ Dean cleared his throat. “Like I said, _Jo_ , it looked bad and I wanted to make sure he was okay. He still hadn’t woken up after three days.”

Jo stared at him, trying to read the emotions on his face. “Okay, Dean. Whatever you say.” Dean sighed with relief. “But you still didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?”

“Are you going to ask him out when he wakes up?”

Dean nearly spit out his coffee. Thank _god_ it went up his nose instead. “I don’t even know the guy, Jo!”

“Yeah, but you want to.” Her smile grew as she took Dean’s coffee cup and took a sip. _Not a victory sip._

“Shut up, Jo.”


	4. 13th of September (night)

**_Holding hands is fine_ **

**_and all, but the man isn’t_ **

**_even conscious yet._ **

“And Garth just says, 'Well, Dean, you can't jump out of a building without expecting a couple of setbacks.'" Dean wiped tears from his eyes and tried to contain his laughter. "Oh man, Cas, I was just in so much pain, but I couldn’t just leave my shift, you know? Well, you can’t respond but now you know. I couldn’t just leave my shift even though I sprained my ankle. So I was hobbling all over the place, it was great.” Dean glanced down at Castiel, still chuckling, hoping for any kind of response to his long-winded story.

He had some time after his shifts to finally visit Cas( _tiel_ ) like he said he would and he was telling him all the stories he knew he wouldn’t be able to remember later. You know, just in case. It didn’t matter that he'd been awake for 30 hours, or that he felt disgusting in his uniform. He made a promise and he needed to keep it.

_You don’t even know them, Winchester._

He glanced down at the still comatose Cas, needing to hear his voice. Dean was comfortable with his sexuality, _thank you very much_ , but he  _never_ needed to hear another man’s voice ( _and see his_ eyes) so bad in his entire life.

Without thinking, he held Castiel’s hand in his own and began speaking. “I gotta tell you, Cas. I’m not one to lay my feelings out so easily. Or talk about myself, really. But there’s just something about you—I don’t understand what’s happening. I really just want to get to know you and be your friend, or something. I don’t know, man. Just wake up. Please. I need to know you.” Dean felt his face become wet with tears, and tightened his grip on Cas’ hand.  “This is stupid. I don’t even know you. I’m being so creepy, dude.”

“You’re helping him more than you think,” another voice whispered from behind Dean.

Dean jumped in surprise, knocking the chair to the ground. “Holy shit, Gabe, you scared the fuck outta me.”

Gabriel smirked and walked over to the other side of Castiel, as Dean picked up his chair and sat back down. “I’m serious, Dean. I’m sure everyone’s been teasing you about whatever this is, but I won’t do that. Well, not now, anyway.” Dean rolled his eyes. “I feel a lot better knowing that someone else cares for him, too. Cassie is a great guy, you should be so lucky.”

Dean felt his face heat up, but he definitely wasn’t blushing. “I mean, yeah, not, that’s not what I’m—“

“Fuckin’ hell, man, chill out. Just accept my thank you and let’s move on. Capiche?”

“Yeah, I capiche,” Dean grumbled, refusing to look Gabriel in the eye.

Gabriel leaned back in his own chair, placed his hands behind his head and gave Dean a smug look. “So, you gonna ask him out when he wakes up?”

Dean’s head snapped to face Gabriel. “Why does everyone keep asking me that? I don’t know, man. I don’t even know the guy. I don’t even know what I’m doing here in the first place.“ Dean got up, grabbed his bag, and headed towards the door. “I should just go, man.”

Gabriel rushed to Dean to stop him from leaving. “Dude. Will you just _please_ chill the fuck out?” Dean stopped walking and turned towards Gabriel, just now noticing how tired the man looked. “Please, I’m just messing with you. I need to laugh and you’re just an easy target but if you _really_ can’t handle it, I’ll stop.”

Dean looked away and sighed, feeling guilty at his outburst. “No, man it’s fine. I guess I’m just tired. I pulled a double shift and then came straight here.” He turned back towards Gabe and saw that his smug fucking grin had returned to his face. “What?”

“Oh nothing, Dean-o. I think it’s sweet that you came to see him. After a long day. Even though you should be asleep right now. And not visiting random strangers you have the hots for.”

Dean huffed. “Well, I don’t have work tomorrow and I’m a grown ass man who can do whatever he pleases. So mind your business or, or else.” _Smooth._

Gabe’s smiled grew wider. “So you _do_ have the hots for him. Fuck I owe Doctor Winchester $20.” With that, Gabe turned on his heel and left the room, leaving Dean staring after him with his mouth open in disbelief.

“Fucking Gabriel,” he muttered to himself. He looked sat back down in his seat, looking down on the dark haired man. He took in the sight of Castiel, admiring his thick eyelashes and hair, and definitely not looking at his lips. He removed his hand from Castiel’s and instead began running it through his hair. Suddenly he felt the need to care for this man and comfort him, just like he had back in the ambulance ( _and in his dream_ ). Without thinking he grabbed Castiel’s hand in his other hand, and began to sing:

> _Hey Jude, don’t make it bad._
> 
> _Take a sad song, and make it better._
> 
> _Remember to let him into your heart,_
> 
> _then you can start to make it better—_

Dean felt a tight grip on his hand, and looked down at Castiel.

_Holy shit holy shit holy shit._

He tried to remove his hand from Cas’ hand but found that he could not remove his hand from the other man’s grip.

_Holy shit holy shit holy shit._

He frantically pressed the call button, hoping someone would come quickly.

“Okay, okay, I’m here. I’m—Dean?” Jess burst into the room not expecting to see her brother-in-law holding her patient’s hand. “What are you doing here? What’s going on?”

“He moved! He gripped my hand, Jess!” Dean couldn’t contain his excitement, even knowing that he will be teased mercilessly for this later on.

“Okay, well, I need you to let go of his hand so that I can run some tests.”

“Yeah, see the problem with that is, well, he won’t let go.”

Jess stared at him. “What do you mean he won’t let go?” She went up to where Dean and Cas’ hands lay and tried to separate their hands, though not trying very hard. “Well, fuck, okay. He really wants your hand there so who are we to take that away from him.” She turned around to hide the smile quickly spreading across her face. She looked back to see Dean absolutely beaming and definitely not blushing.

“Well, I don’t think he’s going to wake up in the next five minutes but things are definitely looking good. He should be waking up soon, but it’s hard to say when.”

Dean smiled at her. “That’s awesome. I mean, I’m happy he’ll be awake soon.”

“Oh? And why is that Dean?” Jess asked innocently. _Too innocently._

Dean narrowed his eyes at her. “What do you mean why? For his family and shit like that. They’ll be happy to hear that he’ll be awake soon, okay.”

Before Jess could respond, Gabe appeared in the doorway with a bag of pastries in one hand and a coffee in the other. “Wait, are you serious? He could be waking up soon?”

Jess turned to look at the man in the doorway so she could address him properly. “Hello, Gabe. Yes, what Dean said is true. Castiel should be waking up relatively soon. Not in the next few minutes, but soon.”

A huge smile spread across Gabriel’s face. “Well, fuck that’s awesome.”

“It sure is. He squeezed Dean’s hand, so Dean called me over and I—“

“What do you mean he squeezed Dean’s hand? Like he moved his hand to Dean or they were already holding hands?” Jess and Gabriel turned to look at Dean, who was a an impossible shade of red.

“We were, uhm, alreadyholdinghands.” Dean mumbled.

Jess and Gabriel turned to each other, and turned back to Dean with matching shit-eating grins. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” Gabe said as he took a step towards where Dean was sitting.

Dean took a deep breath before repeating, “We were already holding hands.” Gabriel and Jess looked back at each other, and looked back at Dean. It was Dean who started laughing first as he stood up and grabbed his bag. “Well, this has been a good time, but I gotta run. I’m so tired and hungry and Gabe’s here so Cas—I mean, Castiel—doesn’t need me here so I’mgonnagonowbye.”

Dean all but ran to his car, needing to be in his own home, in his pajamas, in his bed. He knew he was going to get shit for _whatever the fuck_ just happened, but for now, he needed sleep.


	5. 14th of September (morning)

**_“I can sleep for days”_ **

**_is just an expression, like_ **

**_“I’m fine” or “I’m straight.”_ **

 The last thing Castiel fully remembered was driving and talking to his sister, confirming their dinner plans.

> **“ _No, Castiel, I didn’t invite Gabriel. Will you let it go?”_**
> 
> **_“Anna, it’s been 9 years. If you would just—“_ **
> 
> **_Anna cut him off, not wanting to hear any kind of defense for Gabriel. “No, Castiel. Just please give me more time, okay. I’m not ready.”_ **
> 
> **_“Okay, Anna. Maybe in another 10 years then,” Castiel sighed._ **
> 
> **_Anna huffed in response. “So what, Castiel? If I’m not ready, I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. He abandoned us once before, who says he won’t do it again.”_ **
> 
> **_“He didn’t abandon us. Look, I don’t want to get into it right now. I’m sorry I brought it up, okay?”_ **
> 
> **_Anna hesitated before responding, “It’s okay. I’m sorry for getting upset with you. I’ve just been on edge lately. I have dinner in the oven right now, you don’t need to bring anything, just get here, okay?”_ **
> 
> **_“Okay. I’ll see you in about an hour then. I left a little late, had some stuff to deal with at the store.”_ **
> 
> **_“Okay, Cassie.”_ **
> 
> **_“Don’t call me that,” he growled._ **
> 
> **_Anna laughed. “Oh, you know I love you. I’ll see you soon!”_ **

Then pain shot through him and his car was no longer right side up. And now, he was…

_Where was he?_

His senses began to catch up with him and he heard the steady beeping of his heart monitor, the murmur of voices just outside his room, and the steady throbbing coursing throughout his entire body. He attempted to rub his temples, but found that the movement resulted in a sharp pain shooting across his upper body. His eyes widened with shock as he noticed his torso was bandaged and his right leg was plastered up and unable to move. _Well, good._

“Castiel?”

He turned his head as quickly as physically possible to the woman in the doorway. She was carrying a clipboard in one hand, and had her other hand raised in a fist, as if she had been about to knock. “Yes? Can I help you?”

The woman chuckled as she approached his bedside. “Hello, Castiel. I’m Doctor Winchester. You’re at Lazarus Memorial Hospital in Palo Alto, and you’ve been here for about 5 days now. You were admitted on Friday night; it is now Wednesday morning, about 11 o’clock.” She flitted around him, alternating between checking his machines and his chart.

“What happened to me?”

Jess stopped fiddling with his machine, and looked at him, “You were in a car accident when you were on your way to your sister’s. A car in the opposite lane swerved into yours, attempting to avoid a deer, and crashed into you head-on.”

Castiel looked down at his hands and murmured, “I’m afraid to ask,, but what happened to him? Is he okay?”

Jess could barely reach his eyes as she whispered, “he didn’t make it.” Castiel gulped and stared at her with wide eyes. She continued, a little louder, “You were very lucky, Castiel. When the EMTs arrived, your car had been flipped upside down, and it didn’t look good. You stopped breathing for a second there.” Castiel gasped and put his hand over his mouth in shock. Jess came to stand next to him so that she can comfort him. “You managed to escape with a couple breaks in your right leg, a couple bruised ribs, and a few other miscellaneous scratches and bruises.”

Castiel took a moment to process everything that she said to him. “So, you mean I’ve been asleep for 5 whole days? Where’s Anna? Or Alfie? Fuck, or Gabriel? Oh god, what’s going on with the store?” He began to panic; he felt his hands clam up, his vision tunneled, and his heart rate began to accelerate, sending his machine into a frenzy. _Surely they should have been here, right?_

Jess grabbed hold of his hand and began rubbing her thumb in soothing circles. “Castiel, please try to slow you’re breathing. It’s okay. Anna just left about half an hour ago to go get some rest; she looked in bad shape. Gabriel just stepped out to get some coffee downstairs. And I assume your Anna and Alfie are taking care of the store.” She continued to hold his hand as his breathing slowed and his eyes readjusted to the room around him.

 “Okay, good. Sorry for that.” Jess nodded her head in understanding and turned to leave, but Castiel stopped her. “Doctor, this may be a weird question, but, well, was there another person here? I vaguely remember a man’s voice speaking to me. It was kind of gruff, so it couldn’t have been Gabe or Alfie. I don’t remember his name, or if it was even real.”

Jess’s lips stretched into a smug smile. “Well, actually, you did have another visitor. One of the EMTs that was there the night of your accident came in to visit you. To make sure you were doing okay. Or so he says.”

Emerald green eyes worriedly staring at him flashed in his mind, and a whisper of that voice lingered in his mind.

 _So that_ was _real. God, will he come back now that I’m awake._ “Oh, really? That’s so—so nice. I guess it was real then.” Castiel shifted awkwardly in his bed, not knowing what to do with this newfound information. He tried to recall what exactly the man had been saying to him, but could not remember anything.

“I can call him and let him know you’re awake if you’d like to see him,” Jess offered after a few minutes in silence.

Castiel hesitated. He’d never been one to visit with complete strangers, so he did what he usually does with unusual decisions—he made a pro and con list.

> _Pro: His eyes and his voice are gorgeous, so he must be gorgeous as well._
> 
> _Con: ~~What if he’s straight?~~ I don’t know anything about him? _
> 
> _Pro: He seems like a sweet guy, he did come to visit me even though he didn’t have to._
> 
> _Con: ~~What if he’s straight?~~ I don’t know anything about him?_
> 
> _Pro: He saved my life and I could thank him in person._
> 
> _Con: ~~What if he’s straight?~~ I don’t know anything about him?_

After deliberating for a while, he agreed. _“_ Sure, give him a call. I’d love to thank him in person.”

Jess’s grin seemed to stretch even wider. “Great. I’ll give him a call then. His name is Dean.”

For the first time, Castiel looked up to smile at her. “Thanks, Doctor.”

Jess patted his head, “Please, Castiel. Call me Jess.”

“Okay, Doc—I mean, Jess. Thank you.” Jess set her clipboard down at the edge of his bed and strode out of the room. If she was trying her damndest not to laugh, well, Castiel didn’t notice.


	6. 14th of September (morning/afternoon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so SO sorry I was late with this update. I just started a new job and I have a million and one projects and things going on, but here it is! The next one will more than likely be late as well, so consider this an early apology as well. I love you all! Thanks so much for reading!

_**Why the fuck did I** _

_**give my phone number out to** _

_**so many people?** _

After working a double shift the day before, Dean was grateful for the next couple days off; he’d been working his ass off a little harder than usual so that he can finish the remaining classes needed for his mechanical engineering degree. He was literally 2 classes away from his Bachelor’s so he was definitely hungry for it—Winchester Auto was going to be coming to life soon, and he could not be more excited.

He’d just gotten out of an exam and began his walk to his car, when his phone exploded with notifications.

 

**13 missed calls**

 

**Dean << Sam: **

**< < Hey Dean, I hope your exam is going/went well! **

**< < I want to hear all about it when you’re done!**

 

**Dean << 650-555-5654: **

**< < CASSIE IS AWAKE!!**

**< < YOUR DAMSEL IS NO LONGER IN DISTRESS!!**

**< < This is Gabe, by the way.**

**< < BUT BACK TO MY ORIGINAL TEXT**

**< < CASSIE IS AWAKE AND HE WANTS TO SEE THAT GORGEOUS FRECKLED FACE OF YOURS!!**

**< < GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!**

 

**Dean << Jess: **

**< < So**

**< < Guess who’s awake??**

**< < He asked me to let you know, by the way.**

**< < Well, he said I could give you a call…**

**< < Which is the same as asking tbh**

**< < In any case**

**< < He’s awake, wants to see you, and did you know he's stupid hot.**

**< < (don’t tell Sam I said that)**

**< < also, I hope your exam went well!**

 

**Dean << Jo: **

**< < when are you going to go meet the future Mr. Winchester???**

**< < don’t think Jess didn’t tell me about what happened when you went to go see him yesterday**

**< < I KNOW EVERYTHING**

**< < DON’T IGNORE ME DEAN**

**< < wait**

**< < you’re taking your exam right now aren’t you**

**< < fuck sorry for all the texts**

**< < (but I expect a response ASAP)**

 

Not wanting to deal with anything having to do with Jess, Gabe, or Jo, he decided to let Sam know how his exam went. He debated on whether or not he should call, just in case the conversation takes a turn he doesn’t want to deal with.

_Nut up, Winchester, for fuck’s sake._

Dean opened the door to his Impala and got settled while dialing Sam’s number, driving off as soon as he pressed 'call.'  The line rang once before he heard Sam’s familiar voice. “Hello?" Dean fumbled to put him on speaker, not expecting the quick answer. Another tinny "Hello?" came through the speaker, louder this time.

"Hey, Sammy."

"Dean? Hey, I was wondering where you were! I thought your exam ended like 15 minutes ago?”

  
“Yeah, man, sorry. As soon as I stepped out and turned on my phone, my phone went nuts and froze.”

“You need a new phone dude, that’s not something that should be happening.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I mean, sometimes when you receive a bunch of notifications at one time, your phone does that. It’s okay, Sammy. I wouldn’t expect you to know what that’s like.”

Dean could hear the bitch face that Sam was wearing. “You’re a dick. I figured it was just fucked up from the amount of times you’ve spilled beer or whiskey on it.” Dean chuckled. “But anyway, how was the exam? How do you think you did?”

“I studied for it, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but it was still tough. I know I did really well on it, though. I just need the last two classes and I’m done, Sammy. I’m ready. I just feel so damn old in all these classes. I’m 10 years older than these brats.”

Sam sighed.  “I know, Dean. But you did what you have to do." Dean parked his car and ran his fingers through his hair thoughtfully, listening to Sam before he headed inside. "It’s not like you _didn’t_ go to school, you just went for something else first so you could make some kind of living, AND you basically put me through school.”

“Thanks, Sammy.” There was a slight pause between the two of them, with only the muffled sounds of Dean exiting the car and beginning his short walk to his building, before Dean spoke again. “These last few months seem to be passing so slowly.”

  
“Yeah, yeah, I can see that.” Sam paused briefly before continuing. “By the way, I've been meaning to ask, who’s Castiel?”

Dean stopped dead in his tracks at the entrance of his apartment building and, through gritted teeth, responded, “Why do you ask?”

Sam chuckled. “Come on, Dean. You know who I’m married to, right? You really thought she wasn’t going to tell me?”

Dean groaned and began walking towards his door again, rubbing his forehead. “I mean, I don’t know what I thought. I gotta go, Sammy. I’m tired, the exam took a lot out of me today.”

  
All signs of laughter left Sam’s voice. “Wait, Dean! I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”

“You’re damn right we’re not going to talk about it. But I really do have to go. I’m exhausted and want to take a nap before—“

“Before what?” Sam asked innocently, way too innocently.

“I don’t know, Sam. Just, just before. I’m at my apartment.  I gotta go. See you later, bitch.”

“Later, jerk.”

  
After hanging up, Dean entered his apartment, undressing as he made his way to his bedroom. This morning was a long one and he really did want to take a nap, and then shower and then go see Cas—tiel. Castiel. Dean tiredly set an alarm for 2 hours, got under his blankets, and closed his eyes. 

* * *

 

 _Dean undressed to his undergarments as he walked toward the bathroom, ready to take a shower after a long day at the shop. He showered quickly, eager to be in bed and next to his husband. Husband. The word still feels so weird to say, even think. It was still relatively new. Boxes and various items littered the floor as Dean navigated around his_ (our) _new house, still looking for his_ (our) new _room—there are too many doors in this fucking house_

 _He finally_   _found the door to his (our)_ room, _only tripping once, and slowly opened the door so as not to disturb his fiancé._

No dude, he’s your husband. Holy shit, he’s my husband.

_A small sliver of light lit up Castiel’s face the more Dean opened the door, and Dean stood in the doorway just admiring the work of art that lay before him. He closed the door quietly behind him and slowly slid into bed. He saw that the clock read 11:00 pm and sighed internally._

When did I get so damn old?

 _He turned around to face Cas and watched the steady rise and fall of his chest; and he enveloped him in his arms, wanting to be closer to him. Cas sighed softly in his sleep and turned to face Dean, but didn’t wake._ How did I get to be so lucky?

_Dean kissed Castiel’s forehead and began humming until he felt himself drift into a deep—_

* * *

 

Dean’s alarm blared harshly, reminding Dean that the real life Castiel was no longer next to him.

_Well, fuck._

He glared at the alarm, and the alarm glared back with an angry _2:30 PM_   until he finally turned off his alarm and got ready in a decent amount of time _(not rushing)_ and definitely didn’t rush out the door to his car.

_Oh, hell._

Dean also definitely did not have to run back inside to go get the keys to his car before finally leaving.

_Get it together for fuck’s sake, Winchester._

The longest twenty minutes of his life flashed before him until he was finally at the hospital and heading towards room 10. _I_

_can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t—_

“Hey, Dean-o!” Dean turned around and saw Gabe jogging to catch up to him.

Dean sighed. “Hey, Gabe.”

“Where you going, dude? Cassie is the  _other_ way!”

“Yeah, no, I know. I was, uh, you know, I was—“

Gabe put his hands up exasperatedly. “Dean, fucking _relax_. It will be okay. Cassie doesn’t bite. I mean, unless you ask him, but even then, who knows? He doesn’t really seem—“

“Gabe. Shut up, dude I get it. I’ll go, okay? Just gimme a sec to breathe first.”

Gabe smiled widely at him. “You got it, Dean Bean”

  
“Don’t call me that.”

Gabe’s smile grew impossibly wider. “Okay, Dean-a-leen.”

Dean grimaced. “No, fuck, go back to the other one.”

“Will do. Now get your bow-legged ass in that room and charm my baby bro. I’ll leave you two alone.” With that, he spun on his heel and headed, presumably, toward the cafeteria for more coffee and sweets.

Dean turned back towards room 10. Castiel’s room. Cas’s room. He knocked on the door and peaked his head in, surprised to see ocean eyes, under long lashes and messy black locks, staring into him.

“Hello, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so if anyone does go to Stanford, I know the dates are a little off, but whatever.


	7. 14th of September (afternoon/night)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely readers! I apologize again for being so late. I think at this point, just expect them to be posted at least once a week and the dates will vary, BUT THERE WILL BE AN UPDATE. Thank you so so much for your patience and thank you all for reading!

**_Innuendos are_ **

**_always awkward, even more_ **

**_so when you’re strangers._ **

Dean stood in the doorway, eyes wide and hand still on the door handle. He drank in the sight of the man lying on the bed just a few feet away from him, eyes alert and hair messy.

_Say_ _something, damn it._

Dean opened and closed his mouth, while Castiel ( _Cas!_ ) continued to stare.

_Dude, you’re fucking up._

“I, uh, hi?” _Smooth, Winchester_. Dean cleared his throat and spoke with more confidence. “Sorry. Uh, I’m Dean. Dean Winchester.” Well, relatively more confident.

Castiel took another moment, looking up and down Dean’s body, examining him, before he answered.

_Freckles. Shoulders. Freckles. Eyes. Freckles._ “Yes, I am aware.” His eyes bore into Dean’s, seemingly seeking all answers in the known universe.

_Flannel. Eyes. Freckles._ He needed him to be closer, immediately.

Dean began to fidget Castiel’s intense gaze. “Right. Of course you are. You greeted me by name. That would make sense that, well, you, uh, already know, uh, who I am.” Dean ran his fingers through his hair, ( _not_ ) blushing furiously.

_Pull yourself together, man._

“Anyway, I already made this weird.” He huffed a laugh and continued. “I got a call from Jess, uh, I mean, Dr. Winchester that you were awake and wanted to see me, so here I am.” Dean gestured awkwardly to himself as he spoke the last few words, still making no move to walk further into the room.

Castiel widened his eyes slightly and finally looked away from Dean. “Well, not necessarily asked, but I asked her if someone else had been in to visit because I vaguely recalled a voice I had not heard before and she said that the EMT that saved me, you, came by to visit me and asked me if I wanted her to call you and I figured it would be a greattimetothankyousoofcourseIagreedand—“

“Cas! Breathe! It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself.”

Castiel, still winded from his ramblings, took a deep breath before answering, “Right, of course.” The two stared each other, Dean still at the door and Cas fiddling with his bedsheets.

_Eyes. Freckles. Shoulders. Flannel._

After what seemed to last for hours, it was Cas who spoke first. “I want to thank you for saving my life. I am truly indebted to you.”

Dean scoffed. “Indebted? It wasn’t like a favor to you to _not_ let you die. It was my job and I’m glad to have done it. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Even, still. I am truly grateful. I would like to return the favor sometime. Maybe when I’m out of this hospital. And my mobility returns.” Cas grimaced at his propped up leg.

Dean’s mouth went dry. “Oh, wow, you don’t, you don’t have to do that.” _Please do._

“I know I don’t have to, but I would like to.” Worrying that he was too forward, Cas refused to make eye contact, though moments before he had seemingly bore holes into Dean’s very soul. Another pause filled the room, as the two stared each other, interacting without speaking. It was a good minute until Castiel spoke. “You can come sit next to me if you’d like. I won’t bite. Probably.”

_Not yet, anyway._

Cas smiled mischievously up at Dean, his eyes lighting up with the rest of face, making his eyes impossibly bluer.

And that was it for Dean. He needed to be closer to him as soon as possible. That was _his_ smile. He let out a short laugh and finally fully entered the room, shutting the door carefully behind him. “Well, when you put it that way, I might as well, right?” Dean occupied his usual spot next to Castiel and gazed with wonder at the man he waited an entire week for. “So.”

“So.” Castiel twirled a dark lock around his finger nervously.

_God, what do I even say to him?_

The silence continued, the two seemingly comfortable not saying anything, until he abruptly broke that silence. “Why did you come to visit me? After the accident? I’m sure that’s not a common practice in your field.”

Dean paused, frantically thinking of different excuses he could give him.

> _~~Because you’re hot.~~ _
> 
> _~~Because your eyes are its own special shade of blue.~~ _
> 
> _~~Because I can’t stop thinking about you~~. _

“Well, it looked especially bad, and I just wanted to, uh, be sure, that, uh, you’re okay.”

_Lame. What the fuck kind of excuse._

Dean reprimanded himself silently while Castiel gazed upon him, trying to read him.

 “Oh? Well, that’s awfully nice.” _Bullshit. You’re as straight as a slinky, aren’t you?_ “Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to come visit me.” Cas batted his eyelashes and smiled softly at Dean, most definitely not flirting. “So when you’re not saving lives, what do you usually do?”

Stunned at the forwardness of the man sitting next to him, Dean hesitated before answering. “Well, I kind of already went through this spiel when you were out, but I don’t mind doing it again.”

“Oh, did you? I didn’t realize that you spoke to me while you were here, I don’t remember that.”

Dean sighed with relief.

_Thank the fucking lord._

“Yeah, it’s pretty common to do so with coma patients. In any case, to answer your question, when I’m not doing the EMT gig, I’m studying mechanical engineering at Stanford. I’m just 2 classes shy from graduating, which means I graduate this winter, so I’m excited, so ready to get out of there.”

Castiel noticed freckles pop under the light blush dusting that was spreading across Dean’s face. “Congratulations, Dean. Go Cardinals! I also went to Stanford for my Bachelor’s but I went for English. What do you want to do with your degree?”

“Well, once I’m out, I want to take over my da—Bobby’s salvage yard and turn it into Winchester Auto Shop and then I can start doing what I actually want to do.” Not loving the attention that was tuned to Dean, he began to fidget, running his fingers through his hair.

Noticing the change in mood, Castiel took a moment to ponder before answering. “I know nothing about cars, unfortunately, only that they’re terrifying machines that we have no business trying to control. I tend to just ride my bike everywhere I go.”

Dean turned to him incredulously, one eyebrow raised. “Is that right?”

Castiel blushed slightly. “Well, I do when I’m going anywhere local, anyway. I was only driving that night because I was driving to my sister’s house in San Francisco and it’s about an hour away. I was about 20 minutes into my drive when… Well, you know.” He could feel Dean staring at him, not with pity, but with a look that Castiel couldn’t identify without looking him in the eyes.

Dean cleared his throat, desperately trying to veer the conversation in a different direction. “So, uh, you live relatively close then? Only 20 minutes out, you said?”

Castiel let go a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Yes, actually. I live in Sunnyvale.”

Dean’s eyes widened in surprise, green eyes glistening. “No shit!”

Not quite sure how to respond, Castiel let out a tentative, “Umm, yes?”

Dean let out a laugh. “Sorry, it’s just that I also live in Sunnyvale. I didn’t realize we were neighbors, that’s crazy!”

“Oh! Whereabouts, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I live in the Pontiac Apartments, it’s not too far from this little second-hand bookstore down the street.”

Castiel’s eyes widened slightly, and went back to normal before Dean could notice the change in Castiel’s disposition. _We live in the same apartment complex, oh god. Could he be talking about—_ “Oh? What bookstore?”

Dean let out a shy laugh. “It’s, uh, it’s called _C’est La Bee.’_ Sammy, my brother, worked there while he was at Stanford. It’s a dorky little secondhand bookstore, shoved in the middle of some kind of hippie rabbit food store and a bakery that has some of the best pie ever, hands down the best thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of putting in my mouth.” Dean’s eyes widened as Castiel smirked at him.

_No you didn’t, Winchester. You didn’t just say that._

He began to backtrack, “I, uh, I mean, well, the pie is good, all right. But anyway, the bookstore. It’s bee-themed for one reason or another. They even sell homemade honey and have a little built-in café that sells honey-based treats and tea. I go every once in a while when I have free time to actually read a book.”

There was a brief pause before Castiel began laughing, despite himself. It gradually grew until he was full-on crying, tears rolling down his face as he shook with laughter and pain. Dean stared at him, with a terrified expression on his face.

_Explain yourself, you fool. You’re scaring him._ Castiel’s laughter began to die down as he wiped tears from his eyes. “I do apologize for that outburst, Dean. I live in the same apartment complex, and I own that bookstore.” Castiel resumed his laughter, albeit a little softer now that his ribs were complaining, when he saw the incredulous look on Dean’s face, and they began laughing together. “It seems we’ve been neighbors this whole time without realizing it.” He wheezed between laughs and wiping tears from his eyes.

“Oh my god, what the fuck even?” Dean, now laughing and also wiping tears from his eyes, wheezed back.

The two sat, gasping for air between bouts of laughter, still in disbelief. Gabriel briefly walked in, glanced around the room at the scene before him, and slowly backed out, smirking and reminding himself to ask Cassie about it later. After a while, their laughs died down and they went back to just looking at each other, neither one feeling the need to interrupt the comfortable silence that enveloped them.

This time, it was Dean who spoke first. “I can’t believe we’ve been so close and have never run into each other. That’s—,“ Dean chuckled, “that’s so crazy, man.” He looked back at Castiel and saw that Castiel’s eyes were absolutely shimmering, the sun reflecting on the ocean’s surface. _Please look at me like this forever._

“Yes, it is rather strange.” _Just go for it._ “So, this means that it is now more plausible for us to get that cup of coffee then. Or tea, whatever you prefer. Perhaps in about 6 weeks, just so that I have mobility.” He paused, realizing what he just implied and rushed to justify himself. “I mean, not that I would really need, I don’t know, who knows. This is not what was intended, you know what I mean, right?” _Holy shit, has it been that long since I’ve been on an honest-to-god date?_

Dean chuckled, shock still written all over his face, refusing to meet Castiel’s gaze. _Thank god he’s not straight._ “I, uh, I, well,” _Just go for it. “_ I’d lo—yeah,” Dean cleared his throat, “Sounds good.”

Cas smiled softly. “So, it’s a date, then?” He challenged Dean with his eyes, not taking them off of him. He watched his face flicker with various emotions at the same time, until his green eyes met his own, full of hope and—apprehension?

Dean took a shaky breath.

_Don’t fuck this up. Don’t fuck this up. Don’t fuck this up._ “Yeah, man. A date. With me. And you. Together. In the same place. On a date.” Dean’s freckles popped against the blush that spread across his cheeks, forming constellations that Castiel had not yet seen.

Cas felt his face fall. _Oh god I fucked up._ “If you don’t want—“

“No, no, no,” Dean rushed to correct himself, “That’s, that’s not what I meant at all. I just, uh, I’m not great at the, uh, you know, the whole ‘dating’ thing.”

Cas scrunched his face.

_Thank god he’s not straight._ “We’re not getting married, Dean. It’s just a date to see if we can stand each other outside of a hospital capacity.”

Dean smirked at him. “Then, yeah, Cas. It’s a date.”  The two wrapped themselves up in each other once more, communicating without speaking, until, “Wait, am I just not going to see you for a month and a half then or—?“ Dean trailed off, unsure of how to finish that sentence.

“Oh, you’re more than welcome to continue your visits! I would like to have company here that isn’t Gabriel or Anna. Only if you have time, though. I don’t want you to feel an obligation to come see me.” Castiel looked down as he spoke, twisting a dark lock of hair around his finger.

Dean, in a show of confidence, took hold of his hand and intertwined their fingers. “It’s not an obligation. I want to keep visiting. I may not have a ton of free time, but when I do, you bet your ass I’ll be here.”

Cas looked up at Dean, overwhelmed with gratitude. “Thanks, Dean.”

“Yeah, Cas. Look, I have to get going, I am starving and beat, but I’ll leave my number here and if you get bored later, shoot me a text and I’ll respond when I can. I can come back tomorrow?”

“That would be lovely. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Cas squeezed Dean’s hand before untangling his fingers from Dean’s own.

Dean slowly stood and sauntered out the door.

_Don’t look back. Be cool for fucking once._

He looked back ( _damn it, Dean_ ) and said one final “Bye, Cas,” before exiting the room.

Unfortunately for him, upon his exit, Dean was greeted with an, “It’s about fucking time.”

Dean jumped and turned around to see Gabriel leaning against the wall next to the doorway. “Jesus fuck Gabriel, how long have you been standing there?”

Gabe’s lips stretched into a smug smile. “Long enough. Long enough to know you’re going to have a good night, Dean Bean.”

“Seriously, dude? We talked about this.”

“Right, right. Sorry, Dean-a-Leen-a-Bean.”

“Nope, no, I hate it, back to the first one.”

“That’s what I fucking thought.” Gabe smiled sweetly at Dean before retreating into Cas’s room with a smug, “Have a good night, Dean-o.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean strode down the hallway excitedly. Not excited about anything in particular ( _sure, Dean_ ), but excited nonetheless. 


	8. 21st of September (afternoon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please please don't hate me. I am such a busy human, I'm sorry this is so late and I wish I had more for you. I am going to try my very best to have another chapter up this week. Thanks so much for being so patient. And then you all who have left kudos and comments so far; I am LIVING for them!

_**Why do bones take so** _

_**long to heal? It seems very** _

_**unnecessary.** _

“What do you mean you’ve never seen Harry Potter, Dean?” Cas put his half-eaten burger down on the tray in front of him and glared at Dean, absolutely offended, nose scrunched and blue eyes boring into him.

 _He was so perfect, of course there’s something wrong with him._ “Everybody has seen at _least_ one Harry Potter movie, have you really never seen just _one_ of them?”

Dean put the remaining bite from his own burger in his mouth and raised his hands in mock surrender, mouth still full of food. “I dunno, man. Sammy was big on them, but I was more of a Star Wars fan.” He swallowed down his food. “I guess just never got around to it, what’s the big deal?”

“What do you mean ‘what’s the big deal?’ Harry Potter is such a great story; it teaches so much about the strength of friendship and love, and it was wonderous to grow up with. There was magic not only in the context of the story, but within the words that wove it together.” Castiel took a deep breath, glancing up at Dean, whose lips were pursed and eyes scrunched in thought.

“Well, I guess, but that’s what Star Wars was for, right? Same magic within words or whatever, but with less magic and more of the Force.” Dean smirked at Cas, teasing him for being such a nerd.

Castiel pursed his lips, eyes narrowed at Dean. “Well then, Dean, what if I told you that I've never seen a Star Wars movie?”

Dean’s eyes widened slightly, and he scoffed. “Well, that’s impossible, everyone’s seen Star Wars.” Cas continued to stare at Dean, eyes not leaving his, until Dean realized.

 _No, please, no_. “Cas, you’ve seen Star Wars, right? Like at least one of them? It doesn’t even have to be one of the original movies, just tell me you’ve seen one.” Dean’s voice cracked as he finished, too disappointed to care.

Cas looked down and brought his hand up to twirl a lock of hair around his finger.

 _Of course I have._ “No, Dean. I guess you could say I was more of a Harry Potter person.” He looked up at Dean with a mischievous grin, challenging him, and picked up his burger once again.

Dean didn’t know how to read him.  _Is he fucking with me or has he really never seen Star Wars before?_

“Well, Cas. Looks like I know what we’re going to be doing as soon as you get out of here.”

“Yes. We’re watching Harry Potter.” With that, Cas polished off the rest of his burger and sighed contentedly. He felt Dean’s glare and turned to him with mock innocence coloring his features. “Oh, did you have something else in mind?”

Before Dean could respond, there was a knock on the door. “It’s Dr. Winchester, may I come in?”

Cas looked at Dean, whose mouth was open slightly—seemingly in shock—before responding, “Yes, please come in.”

Jess walked into the room, armed with Castiel’s chart and paused, taking in the scene before her. Dean’s mouth was open and his eyes were wide, and Castiel was wearing a smug grin. “Umm, Castiel, what’s wrong with Dean?”

Cas feigned innocence. “Oh, I only told him I’d never seen Star Trek, I mean, Wars. Star Wars—they’re the same, right—and it seems he’s having a bit of a meltdown. An overreaction, if you will.” Cas and Jess both smiled at each other conspiratorially, waiting for any kind of response from Dean.

With that, Dean snapped out of his trance. “Hold the fuck up.” Dean looked between Jess and Cas, both looking way too innocent and calm, in disbelief. “They are NOT the same, and the fact that you think so is appalling and, quite frankly, offensive. If you even—“

“Dean!” Jess cut him off with a laugh before he continued with a long-winded rant that she, herself, already had the pleasure of hearing. “He’s obviously fu—messing with you. Just chill out.”

Dean turned to face Castiel, eyes wide in disbelief. “Wait, are you fucking with me? You don’t think they’re the same, right?”

Cas scoffed and flicked his wrist dismissively. “Of course not, Dean. Who even thinks that? They’re so blatantly different.” The two then proceeded to play their game of ‘How Long Can We Stare At Each Other Before Making Other People Uncomfortable.’

The answer is 68 seconds. Jess cleared her throat before speaking, reminding them that she came into the room for a reason. “So, Castiel. I was looking over your chart and it looks like you’re good to go today if you want to skedaddle.”

Cas’ eyes lit up. “That’s wonderful! I’ll just call Anna then and get her to—“

“Why don’t I just take you home?” Dean blurted without realizing. He looked at Cas, who wore a surprised expression on his face. “Yeah, I mean, we live in the same complex anyway, it’s not like it would be out of the way; and that way, Anna doesn’t have to drive an hour to come spring you out of this joint.”

Jess looked between the two, rolling her eyes the longer they stayed staring into each other’s eyes. Castiel broke the stare first, looking down at his hands, then over to Jess, and then back to Dean. “That would be great, Dean. Just remind me to call Anna and Gabriel, so they don’t freak out in case they try to visit me here.”

“Or, and just hear me out on this, I can text them myself while you're filling out your discharge paperwork and let them know I’m taking you home.” Dean waggled his eyebrows at Cas. “I mean, I think I can handle a text or two.”

Jess rolled her eyes at the blatant flirting happening in front of her. “Well, now that you two have that settled, I’ll be back with the discharge paperwork for you, Mr. Novak.”

* * *

An hour and a couple more eye rolls from Jess later, Cas was in a wheelchair downstairs, waiting for Dean to pull the car around. The nurse, Becky, her nametag said, was babbling away about the latest story she was reading.

“And then this Hester BITCH, who's supposed to be his  _friend_ , mind you, decides that Clarence owes her something and gets him kicked out of his apartment, and it’s just a mess.”

 _Smack._ “

I’m almost afraid to keep reading.”

_Smack._

“It was so cute so far and then this happened.”

_Smack._

“I mean, I heard before how sad it was but I don’t know how prepared I am for it, you know?”

Castiel mumbled an answer here and there, not really caring that she was talking his ear off about some fantastically gay love story that she can’t get enough of, but it was Becky’s incessant gum-smacking that made him finally speak up.

“Becky, was it?” The nurse nodded her head. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I have a terrible headache, and—“

“Oh, no I understand. You must be exhausted! I’ll just try to keep my mouth shut until your ride gets here then.”

 _Thank god._ “Thank you for understanding, Becky.”

They stood ( _sat, whatever_ ) in silence for a grand total of five minutes before Becky started chattering again. “Do you like Elvis, Cas? You seem like the type who would.”

The question caught him off guard. “Umm, why?"

"No reason, you just remind of someone and he likes Elvis and love songs, so I was just wondering if you did too. Since you remind me of someone who does too. Nothing weird," Becky said all too quickly, avoiding his gaze.

Cas blinked slowly at her before responding, "I guess so, Becky. I can appreciate a little Elvis every now and then.”

Becky’s face was unreadable, but before Castiel could question it, he heard the distant rumbling of what could only be Dean. He turned away from the nurse to see a sleek black muscle car approaching them, and saw Dean drumming casually on his steering wheel. Cas eyed the car with admiration.

_Makes sense that he drives a car like this._

Becky appeared to read his mind because she let out a soft gasp and breathed out, “Of course.”

Dean pulled up beside Castiel and got out to help him in to the car, smirking the whole time. “Cat got your tongue, Cas?”

Cas realized he was staring at Dean. And the car. Dean and the car. He cleared his throat before responding, “Of course not. Just admiring it.”

Dean feigned offense. “It? No, Cas. _She._ This here is my Impala 1967, my pride and joy, my Baby.” He beamed, looking between the car and Cas, gauging his reaction.

Cas only raised an eyebrow before smirking at Dean. “Baby, huh? Glad to see you’ve found the one.”

Dean laughed, guiding Castiel into the car, helping him into his seat. “Shut up, Cas.

Becky could only watch the two interact with each other, until eventually she felt like the odd one out. She coughed, letting them know that she was still there (unfortunately for them). “Well, I should get back then. I hope you feel better soon, Cas.”

Cas smiled warmly in her direction, eyes not completely leaving Dean. “Thanks, Becky. You too.”

Becky looked between the two of them before it clicked and she let out a squeak, gaining the attention of both men. They looked at her expectantly, and not knowing what to say to them, she said, “Sorry about that. It's just-- it's hot out, don't you think?” She wiped her hand across her head in an exaggerated motion. “It’s days like this where _milkshakes_ are a must, don’t you think?” The two men stared at her, not sure how to respond. “Anyway, I should be getting back. Have a nice day, guys.” She then turned on her heel and rushed back into the hospital, trying to hide her smile and her inaudible whispers of "it's happening."

Dean and Cas watched her walk away, confused. It was Dean who spoke. “Well, that was weird.”

“I agree. What was that all about?”

“No idea, man. But she did have a point.” Dean walked around the car, and slid into the driver’s seat.

Cas raised his eyebrows. “And what’s that, Dean?”

Dean smiled as he started the ignition. “A milkshake does sound pretty damn good right about now.”

* * *

“Dean, vanilla milkshakes are atrocious. It’s just milk but thicker and sweeter.”

“Umm, yeah. That’s what milkshakes are, Cas. It’s in the name.” Dean and Cas hadn’t even bothered to stop at Cas’ apartment and opted to drive straight to Baby’s Diner, about midway between their apartment complex and the hospital. There were jukeboxes at every table, which Dean could not and would not stop fiddling with, and everyone was dressed in 50’s garb.

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Dean I get that. But there’s no flavor. Chocolate milkshakes are pretty much where it’s at, especially with a side of fries.”

Dean paused his fiddling and looked up at Cas incredulously. “Fries? Who puts fries in their milkshake?”

Castiel rolled his eyes (again). “Dean, it’s not mixed in with the milkshake. You dip it in, like you would with ketchup.” Dean still looked unsure and slightly disgusted. “You know what, that’s what we’re doing.” Castiel flagged down a waiter.

“Hello, sir, can I help you with anything?”

“Yes, please. We’ll take a chocolate milkshake and a plate of fries.”

“Will that be it for you?”

“Yes, please.” He looked over to Dean. “Have anything to add?”

Dean, still confused about what was happening, shook his head silently.

The waiter glanced between the two before he spoke, “Will do, gentlemen. That’ll be out for you in a bit.”

The two sat in comfortable silence after that. Dean couldn’t take his eyes away from Castiel, who was tracing circles on the table, lost in his own world. He looked different outside of the hospital—younger. His hair was all over the place and Dean couldn’t figure out if that was because that’s how it normally is or because he was in a hospital for a week.

Castiel glanced at Dean, and found him already looking at him. “Hey, Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?” Dean said, lost in whatever was happening.

Cas leaned closer to Dean, crossing his arms. “Have you ever used a jukebox before?”

“What? Of course I have.” _What’s happening? He’s so close, when did he get this close?_

Castiel smiled, and then leaned back quickly. “Oh good! Then you know they’re supposed to play music then. Just making sure.”

Dean chuckled in disbelief. “You’re a sarcastic bastard, you know that?”

“I’ve been told once or twice.” Cas paused. “So are you going to put a song on or not?”

Dean chuckled once again. “Yeah, Cas. What are you feeling?”

Castiel thought for a sec. “Well, Becky asked me about him at the hospital and now I’ve been wanting to listen to some Elvis.”

“Elvis? I can dig Elvis. What song are you thinking?”

Cas leaned towards Dean once again and smirked. “Surprise me.”

Dean gulped and looked his options.

> _Best of Elvis: Love Songs._
> 
> _Love Songs: Elvis Presley._
> 
> _S_ _ongs of Love: Elvis Presley._

“The only songs they have are love songs, Cas.”

“Well, it is Elvis, Dean. Just pick one.”

Dean panicked and punched in a random combination of numbers. The familiar guitar picking and soft crooning filled the room and Dean recognized it instantly as the tune he had been humming in his dream. With Cas. His friend Cas. Who was also in front of him. Real Cas. Not Dream Cas.  He was so fucked.

_Wise men say only fools rush in._

Cas smiled softly, still leaning towards Dean. “I love this song, Dean. How’d you know?”

“Well, C-Cas. I figured that if you’re such a sap that you enjoy Elvis, you would definitely enjoy this song.”

Cas’ smiled faltered slightly. “Oh, right. Well, in any case, I do really love this song. I know, it’s cliché, sue me, but it’s just so soothing and I don’t know, I just—“

Dean cut him off mid-babble. “Cas! I’m just fucking with you. It’s a beautiful song. Also one of my favorites. My dad used to sing it to my mom when they made up after a fight or argument. It was the first song I ever learned on the guitar, and then later on the piano.”

_Darling, so it goes. Some things are meant to be._

“I didn’t know you played instruments, Dean. I’m jealous, I’ve always wanted to learn but I have neither the time, nor patience.”

“I can teach you if you’d like Cas. It’s not too hard once you learn sheet music and a few basic chords. I taught myself, so I could definitely teach you. You’ll have all the time in the world while you wait for your body to heal.”

Cas smiled and leaned closer. “That would be nice, Dean. I could always pay you, you know.”

_Take my hand, take my whole life too._

“You don’t have to do that, Cas.”

“I know I don’t, Dean. But I would like to. Don’t want to be indebted to you for too many things, you know.”

Dean also leaned in, “And how would you do that, Cas?”

Before Castiel could speak, a plate of fries appeared between the two, along with their chocolate milkshake. The two looked up to see the waiter smirking at them. “Your order is ready, gentlemen.”

Dean huffed and Castiel leaned back, away from Dean. They sat for a while, letting whatever the fuck just happened process. The moment ended and so did the song, so the two sat in silence, until Castiel cleared his throat and looked over at Dean, smiling.

“So.”

“So.”

“You ready to try these fries?” Cas picked up a fry and stuck it in the milkshake, scooping some up and holding it out to Dean. “It’s now or never, Winchester.”

Dean stared at the offending item and huffed. “Fine, but if I die, I’m haunting your ass.”

“Duly noted.”

Dean hesitated before putting the fry in his mouth.

_He better be worth—holy shit._

His reaction was instantaneous. His eyes rolled back and he moaned, forgetting he was in a public setting.

Castiel blushed slightly. “Good, is it?”

“I can’t believe I spent my whole life not eating fries like this, holy shit.”

Cas laughed. “It’s a good thing I was here to save the day then, not all heroes wear capes.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You deserve a Nobel Prize. Now, are you going to eat or what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, that WAS a "Twist and Shout" reference snuck in there. There may be a few more but who knows. So meta, amirite?


	9. 22nd of September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is more or less on time, right? So, trigger warning for this: Castiel does have an anxiety attack in the first section of the chapter. I love you all for reading thank you so much. Thanks to everyone for the kudos, comments, hits, bookmarks, love, etc. I am LIVING.

**_Siblings: can’t live with_ **

**_them. That’s it. That’s the end of_**

**_it. Can’t live with them._ **

_The sirens screamed in the distance. Asphalt cut into his skin, marring his features. **Can’t breathe.**  The sirens ceased, now replaced with voices. Copper invaded his taste buds and nostrils, choking him.  **Need to breathe.**  Fire crackled and his leg snapped—twice.  **Can’t breathe**. Strong hands tightly gripped his arm, raising him from the fire. The car continued to press down, metal meeting skin, searing and cutting along the way.  **Need to breathe.**_

 Castiel awoke with a start, chest rising and falling rapidly.  ** _Can’t breathe._  **His eyes snapped open, but darkness still surrounded him.

**_Need_ **

**_To_ **

**_Breathe._ **

His hands grasped the sheets in an attempt to ground himself, needing to come back to his body—to his mind. He was paralyzed, trapped in himself.

                                                                                                                                                           ** _Can’t_**

_**Breathe.**_

_Stop crying._

_Slow down._

The tears came, slipping down his cheeks, and collecting in a pool along his collarbone. His eyes snapped open once again ( _when did they close?_ ) and the darkness pressed down.

_Stop crying._

_Slow down._

_**Can’t**_

**_Breathe._ **

He gasped and grasped, trying to keep himself in the present.  _It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay._  His head throbbed, his chest ached, his breathing slowed.

                           ** _Need_**

**_To_ **

**_Breathe._ **

He sat up quickly, ignoring the protest in his ribcage, trying to focus on one thing at a time. Slowly, he rested his back against his headboard, and hummed a nonsensical tune, one his mom used to sing but he didn’t remember the words to. His breathing slowed to its normal pace, and he sat in silence, consoling himself.  _You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay._ The tears fell faster, no longer pooling at his collarbone, but now slipping down his cheeks and onto his still shaking hands.

He sat there in silence; still humming, still crying, still trying to keep himself grounded.

                                 ** _In_** _._

_Out._

_In._

_Stop crying._

_**Out.**_

_Stop crying._

_In._

_Out._

_**In.**_

His eyes closed slowly, tears still hanging off of his eyelashes, making his eyes heavier. He heard his mother’s voice replace his humming.

_Tomorrow will be kinder._

_It’s true, I’ve seen it before._

_A brighter day is coming your way._

_Tomorrow will be kinder._  

* * *

The next morning Castiel woke up groggy and sore. His chest and ribs ached, though for different reasons. 

_Just what I needed, I’m sure._

He lay in bed for a while, well, what seemed like a while, not ready or willing to face the day ahead of him. The day after a night like he just had were always the hardest and he still didn’t have a grasp on how to cope afterwards. Anna always helps the best she can, though attempting to cure him with religion and yoga; while Gabriel also tries to understand exactly what it is that Castiel is feeling, trying to find the logic behind it, though still there for him when he needed a shoulder to cry on. The accident definitely didn’t make his situation better either, that’s for fucking sure. 

With a sigh, he reached over to his nightstand and checked his phone, hissing at the harsh light that greeted him.

 

**_7:00 am._ **

**_8 missed calls._ **

**_2 voicemails._ **

 

4 missed calls and a voicemail each from Anna and Gabriel. Castiel furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He hasn’t been asleep that long, has he? He opted to listen to Anna’s voicemail first.

**_“Castiel James Novak, you call me back this instant!”_ **

Castiel held the phone away from his ear, the sound of his sister’s shrill voice definitely not the first thing he needed in the morning. ** _“_**

**_I can’t believe you left the hospital with Dean Winchester—Dean fucking Winchester—and didn’t immediately text me! What is he like? Where did you go? You didn’t have sex, did you?_” **

Castiel tiredly ran a hand down his face and rolled his eyes.

**_“_ ** **_Because that would be terrible for your ribs. I can’t believe I had to find out from Dean Winchester—again, Dean fucking Winchester—himself! I am so pissed but I need all the details. Call me when you can. Love you, Cassie!”_ **

Well, fuck. With a grimace, Castiel hesitantly played Gabriel’s message next.

_**“Well, well, well, Cassie, my boy! I didn’t think you had it in you. Well, not yet anyway.”**  _

Castiel could hear Gabe laugh to himself and rolled his eyes.

**“ _I heard from Dean-o that you two got up to some shenanigans last night. Well, he said he took you home from the hospital and I can pretty much put it together from there. Hope you used protection. I’ll stop by later. See ya, baby bro!”_**

Castiel rubbed his face and groaned, trying to decide who to call back first. Anna would squeal and ask a million questions, but, then again, so would Gabe. Anna would be easier to reason with. Anna it is. He dialed her number in, hoping that she wouldn’t be awake to answer. As luck would have it, she answered on the first ring.

“Oh, so nice of you to call, Cassie. I’ve been waiting around for you to call, I’m just surprised it was this early in the morning. I hope you’re not in too much pain today.”

Castiel sighed. “Good morning to you too, Anna. For your information I am  _not_ in too much pain because nothing happened between Dean and me last night.”

“What? Oh! No, dumbass, you were just in an accident! Get your head out of the gutter! Good god!” she paused briefly and Castiel reddened, and then the squealing began “Oh my god, oh my god, Cassie! Tell me all about it! Was he  _ever_ so charming?”

Castiel could just imagine Anna batting her eyelashes mockingly and chuckled, despite himself. “It wasn’t a date! He was already there visiting and Dr. Winchester told me that I could finally leave, so Dean offered to drop me off at home,  _and_  text you to let you know, so that you wouldn’t have to drive an hour down to come get me.”

Anna clicked her tongue. “Uh huh, right, yes. So tell me, Cassie: did you go straight home?”

Cas paused. “N—no, we went to a diner first.”

“Oh?” she asked way too innocently. “And it was just the two of you?  _Alone_?”

Cas narrowed his eyes, willing her to see it through the phone, or at least hear it in his tone of voice. “Where are you going with this, Anna?”

“Oh, nowhere. Just, you know, curious and all. Seeing as how I never get to see you anymore, except for the time you were in the hospital, and I just wanted to know more about The Great Dean Winchester who came barreling into your life out of nowhere.”

Castiel sighed, not appreciating the guilt trip that was he was being taken on at the moment. “Anna, that’s not fair, you know I was on my way to see you.” Anna sighed, so Castiel continued. “But, to answer your question: yes, Anna. It was just the two of us. But we’re just friends, I think. At least, I want to be his friend for now, anyway. I don’t know too much about him, really: only that he's a huge Star Wars nerd; his favorite milkshake flavor is vanilla—which is rather disappointing; he’s currently attending Stanford; oh, and—“

Anna chuckled. "Okay, Cassie. I get it."

"I just, I haven't connected with someone like this in a long time. I need to know more about him. I want to know everything."

Anna tittered. “That’s a loaded statement, Cassie. You just met the guy. Are you sure you can even trust him?”

“That’s what’s so strange, Anna. I think I can. There’s just something profound in the friendship that we have formed in such a short amount of time and I want to explore it.”

“Just be careful, okay? I know you’re fragile right now, and I don’t—“

Castiel bristled. “I am not fragile, Anna. I can take care of myself. Nothing’s even happened yet and you’re already worrying.”

“I know, Castiel. I just don’t want him to take advantage of you.”

Castiel was becoming increasingly annoyed with Anna. “How has he even indicated doing so, so far?”

“No, it’s not that, Cassie. It’s just, well, with your condition—“

“ _Condition?_  Which one, Anna? The fucked state of my body or my mind?”

Anna stayed silent for a long time, before she sniffled and spoke again, her voice on the verge of breaking. “That’s not what I was saying, Castiel. You’ve had anxiety for the longest and you were  _just_ in an accident, which I’m sure isn’t making your anxiety better.” Castiel clenched and unclenched his jaw. “And you’re not fucked up, Cassie. Don’t you ever say that about yourself.” Castiel relaxed his jaw and Anna sighed. “I just want you to be careful. I don’t know anything about this guy and neither do you, really, and I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Castiel sighed, feeling like shit for a multitude of reasons, but mostly for making his sister cry. “I’m sorry, Anna. I didn’t mean to snap at you. My body’s just a little sore and I haven’t yet eaten or taken any medicine for it.” He shut his eyes for a second, willing himself to relax. “Dean and I are just friends. Getting to know each other and all that. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Okay. It’s okay, Cassie.” The two remained silent, not knowing how to proceed from there. “You know I love you, right?”

“Of course I do, Anna.”

“Good. Now go get some food in your system and take some medicine. Don’t think you’re off the hook about your ‘Not A Date’ with Dean Winchester. I have to get to writing or my publisher will have my ass. I’ll talk to you later. I love you!”

Cas smiled and rolled his eyes. “I love you too, Anna. I’ll text you when I can.”

After hanging up the phone, he set it back on the nightstand, debating on whether or not to go back to bed. Fortunately (unfortunately) for him, the sound of knocking interrupted his internal debate.

“Oh, Casssiiieeeeeeee. It’s your favorite brother, here to save the day.”

Castiel groaned, knowing he won’t leave and the knocking will never cease. He sat himself up as slowly as he possibly could and shuffled to the door, cocooned in his comforter. He threw open the door to see Gabe with his fist still in the air, knocking but no longer coming in contact with the door.

“What do you want, Gabe?”

Gabe gave him his most innocent smile and lifted a bag with what Castiel hoped was real food and not pastries. “I come bearing sustenance. Now, I’m assuming by the grimace you’re wearing that you're in a great deal of pain, which means you haven’t taken your pain medicine, which means you haven’t eaten yet. How’d I do? Am I right?” Cas grumbled and shuffled towards his kitchen, not bothering to see if Gabe was following. “I’m just gonna take that as a yes, then.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “What’d you bring, Gabe? Please let it be real food.”

Gabe clutched at his chest in feigned hurt. “Give me some credit here, Cassie. Of course it’s real food!” He reached into the bag and pulled out two boxes of food. The air was immediately filled with the smell of grease, eggs, and sausage.

Castiel wasted no time digging in. He groaned and his eyes rolled back. “This is so good. Where did you even get this?”

Gabe looked over at him, grin too wide. “At Baby’s Diner.” Castiel choked on his food, and began coughing, clutching at his ribs. “You okay there, Cassie?”

Still coughing, Castiel responded as best as he could. “Of course, Gabe. I just, uh, I didn’t know you went to Baby’s Diner often.”

“No, not usually, but I heard from a little birdy their milkshakes are pretty amazing, so I figured their breakfast food must be just as good, if not better.”

Cas glared at Gabriel, who still hadn’t even touched his food. “Oh? And where did you hear about these milkshakes, Gabriel?”

Gabe raised his arms in mock surrender and chuckled. “Hey, now, Cassie. No need to pierce through me with those baby blues of yours. A friend of mine works there and he recognized you. He sent me a text yesterday asking if I had met your boyfriend yet.”

Castiel put his head in his hands and sighed. “Well that makes sense at least.” He went back to stabbing at his food. “We’re not dating, you know. We’re just friends.”

“I didn’t say anything that would indicate otherwise, Cassie.”

“Eat your damn breakfast, Gabe.”

* * *

It took 3 hours to get Gabriel to leave, no matter how much he complained that he was tired or in pain, Gabriel couldn’t or wouldn’t take the hint. When he finally,  _finally_ , left, Castiel plopped down on his couch, still cocooned in his comforter and turned on  _Dr. Sexy._  Castiel hated the show, okay, but he also needed to know why in the hell Dr. Piccolo kept crawling back to Dr. Sexy when she clearly deserved better. But that’s another story for another time. He was 20 minutes into his episode when his phone vibrated.

 

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < Hey Cas, this is Dean.**

**< < Winchester.**

**< < But you know that already, probably.**

**< < God, anyway**

**< < Just checking in to make sure you’re okay.**

Castiel chuckled to himself. He had forgotten he and Dean exchanged numbers. He chucked off his blankets and typed out a response.

**Cas >> Dean:**

**> > Hello, Dean.**

**> > I’m feeling quite well, thanks for asking.**

**> > Good thing you clarified, I was going to have to assign you a number.**

**> > ** **You would have been Dean #67, btw.**

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < Shut it, you!**

**< < Glad you’re feeling better.**

**Cas >> Dean:**

**> > Thank you again for checking in.**

**> > And also for letting my siblings know.**

**> > They had a fucking field day, by the way.**

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < Did they now?**

**Cas >> Dean:**

**> > Of course they did.**

**> > That’s who they are as people.**

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < That’s hilarious.**

**< < What were they saying?**

**Cas >> Dean:**

**> > Well, Anna lectured me to not have sex because that could potentially deter the healing process of my ribs; and Gabriel asked if we were dating.**

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < You sure you don’t have those backwards?**

**Cas >> Dean:**

**> > Surprisingly, no.**

Castiel rubbed his hand across his face and sighed. He just made this so weird.

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < Well, in any case.**

**< < I was thinking maybe you can come over tomorrow and we can have a movie night?**

**< < You know, that way you’re not all alone on a Friday night.**

Cas sighed in relief. He thanked his lucky stars that Dean didn’t pry any further.

**Cas >> Dean:**

**> > That would be lovely, Dean.**

**> > Of course, you’d have to haul me up the stairs on your back.**

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < ?**

**< < Wait, shit. I’m sorry, Cas. I totally forgot, dude.**

**Cas >> Dean:**

**> > It’s quite alright, Dean.**

**> > We could always just have it at my place.**

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < I mean, would it be cool to have it at your place?**

**Cas >> Dean:**

**> > Well, looks like that settles that.**

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < Great minds and all.**

**< < Does 7 work for you?**

**Cas >> Dean:**

**> > I might out of dance practice by then, so yes, let’s say 7.**

**Cas << Dean:**

**< < Shut up, Cas.**

 

Cas smiled as he set his phone down. He would get to see Dean tomorrow at 7. Tomorrow. At 7. But not a date. Just hanging out with a friend. Dean. His friend Dean. Choosing not to overthink it, he settled into the couch and back into his episode of  _Dr. Sexy_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, that song though is for real, so beautiful. 
> 
> Tomorrow Will Be Kinder -- The Secret Sisters


End file.
